Why don't you have kids?
...with a look that is saying "What's wrong with you?"
"GAAAAH! If you're a woman that doesn't have children and never really cared that you didn't, I'm talking to you. I've had this moment happen all too often in my life, and it's not fun. It feels like crap, and I'd like to explore more around this AND TALK ABOUT IT! We can't heal what we don't talk about. :)
Why is that women are almost REQUIRED to "love babies" and when we don't have children, why is it that so many conventional folks look at us as if something is wrong with us?
As I move into my mid-40s, this is something that comes up often. And, often it's me thinking "what's wrong with me" because of the energy that lives in this society that almost says "YOU MUST PROCREATE." This toxic program has made me question myself.
YIKES. What's up with that?
I believe it's a deep-running looping program that actually is quite toxic and really can keep people bogged down in an energy that we're nothing more than "procreation machines" when that couldn't be further from the truth.
CONTEMPLATING SOME HARD QUESTIONS
Babies and women have become synonymous in our society at large. Why is this? That is the question that we should be contemplating. Yes, we "have the babies" but that doesn't mean that's all we're here for, so it really is a viewpoint that puts us into a box. What if we choose a different box? What if we choose otherwise?
Another thing to contemplate is the reality that the primary reason for living is NOT to procreate. Many people in this world have this deep running toxic program in their systems and we should become more aware of around this entire “procreation” aspect of life. Truly, it's a program that we can choose to activate or not. It is NOT a requirement, and in fact, I believe it should be much more serious. Too many people have children without really understanding the impact that will have on their lives, on the kid's life, and on this greater society as a whole. I saw a stat one time that stated there are over 8 MILLION kids in orphanages around the globe (that are KNOWN), and a bulk of those children have a parent that's living but they chose to get rid of them. (You can read more here on that.)
What does that say about having children? To me it says that WAY too many people procreate without thinking.
What if we didn't think that procreation is a requirement and instead look at it as a special thing that we may do, and when we do it, stop thinking that huge families equate to happiness. Maybe it does, but how many siblings don't even talk to their siblings? Doesn't this say a lot?
If people had more of a respect about procreating, and realized they didn't HAVE TO, how would that FREE many people into creating something MORE in their lives? I think these are powerful conversations to have.
There are many things to think on as to the sexist viewpoint as it relates to women and babies/children. Many of us women when we’re young girls, we grow up hearing the saying “When you have kids, you’ll…” as if that’s the only reason for our existence and as if it’s a requirement. You will rarely find that men are talked to in this same way as they’re growing up.
INVISIBLE CONTRACTS AND BOXES
So why is it that there seems to be some invisible contract that women are required to “love babies” and to have children? This shouldn’t be the case because women that choose to live their life without children, and I am one of those, we choose to do that because it is a choice. When we have to face the family, friends etc. that are having children, there is also a choice. A choice to engage or to not engage.
What we "fear" more so is the tiresome question "when are you having kids?" That's literally the first thing people say when you get married (the second you get married)! That happened. I'll never forget that.
There's also people looking at us wondering what's wrong with us because we don’t go crazy when we see a baby and run up and go goo-goo gaga. For many of us women, it’s tiresome to be put into boxes that we DO NOT FIT IN!
Personally, I love kids especially as they reach those teen ages, but I don't go goo-goo gaga over babies and young children. Instead, I have a respect for kids as the powerful beings that they really are. Seeing them for what they can become!
WOMBS ARE WAY MORE THAN A CREATION HUB FOR HUMANS
Just because we are women, we don’t have to love being around babies/kids and nor should we have to. Many may label this as “fearing” babies, but this is actually more so a reflection on our society and a toxic cycle that a woman can only be a “mother” if they create a human.
What if we were to change this viewpoint? What if we were to truly see women’s wombs and realize that they are meant for so much more than just procreating a human? Our womb is a powerful creation place for children, yes, but it’s also a place of power to birth businesses, world/life-changing ideas, books, and so much more. We can be MOTHERS to animals. We can be MOTHERS to powerful things we're building. Our wombs are wombs of massive creation and are way more vast than the masses give it credit for...
CHOICES AND CHANGING OUR PERSPECTIVES
We all have a choice to NOT procreate, and we all have a choice to engage with babies/children on the levels in which we choose to engage. Many of us know that we are here for far different experiences that will not include having children ourselves. Many women that are like me get to choose to not engage in the “all things babies” kinds of conversations and experiences. We can honor others for their choices but keep strong in our boundaries as well.
To some, it may seem like we have a "fear of babies" (because yes, that's a thing people talk about) but that’s not true, rather it’s an underlying choice to not do things that society says that we're “supposed to do.” Some of us women in this world are the sacred women rebels who choose a different life and existence that won’t be wrapped around this looping program of having children, it’s as simple as that. Well, there's a MUCH larger spiritual reason why, but that's a whole other article that I'll expand on another time...
I know that it’s time that we let go of these old toxic programming cycles to put people into boxes because a woman's womb is a powerful creation point for so much more than just having children. It’s also time to honor people’s choices to not do what everyone else does. Some of us need to walk different paths and should be honored as equals in that.
Drop a comment below! Let me know what you think!