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Do You Know Your Life's Values?

By: Natalie Viglione

· Awaken Purpose,Coaching,Life Transformation

Understanding YOUR life values can change the game!

Understanding WHAT isn't working in your life is sometimes unclear. Often we just feel or have a vibe that something is not right. Or, it's glaringly obvious but we're adverse to disrupting our lives to change that something in our life due to a fear-based reason (these usually start with the "I can't because..." sentences). When you're unclear or think you're crazy for not understanding what's totally not working in your life, a valuable tool to use as a solution finder is to break down your CURRENT SITUATION as compared to your LIFE'S VALUES.

Values are not tangible items, but instead are inherent truths that live within you, and they're not “handed to us” by family. In fact, that is where we get into trouble! We take what other people "value" and make other people's values our own. NO WAY! Back up, that is not the way our lives work. You cannot live someone else's dream or the way they live their life because you must live your own life and be true to what is yours and yours alone. That can be scary because you're going to more than likely disrupt the status quo... and that's what Disrupt Now is all about!

Values are NOT things like wanting that new car or to go travel, nor is it money as that is not a value either. For example, travel may represent a value of being adventurous, so the value of ADVENTURE is essential to you. Here is a FULL list of LIFE VALUES for you to look at (a Word document) so that you can seriously analyze and get to the core of what you feel deep inside of you and understand what’s important to you and you alone.

When you start to unveil what your core values are (using this process here), you will be either incredibly surprised, or you'll look at your final list and think "yes, OK, that's right, I knew that" and it won't be surprising in any way. But, regardless of how you feel after you have your final top 7 or 8 values, you will now be able to begin the next process.

The next process is to look at that top value list as in order of importance and compare it to what is happening right now in your life (or your career... we'll take a look at the business side of things later on if that's of interest to you), and we call this your CURRENT SITUATION. Let me share more as to why understanding your values can mean something much larger than just knowing them. You will be able to awaken purpose within you when you come to realize what values are imperative to adhere to in your day-to-day way of bringing in money to survive and push beyond that to thrive.

Here are my top values in order of importance to how I live my life and what I do with my life:

1) Consciousness

2) Truth & Open-Mindedness

3) Leadership
4) Boldness

5) Perseverance
6) Empathy

7) Cheerfulness

When I first sat down to do this process at a seminar back in 2014 (I was in a major "fork in the road" moment of my life and needed some serious assessment), that's when I realized how far I was from my inherent truths.

Here are some incredible things that came from this. I realized that my purpose was way beyond the type of consulting I was doing most of my life. I had the foundation right (that I loved helping people and their companies get better), but I realized much more than this and had to think bigger. It drove me to get my certification and schooling to become a coach in 2017 and it was because of this exercise and getting a coach for myself that I was able to change my life in profound ways. In fact, going back to this process helped me recently become even more clear as to who I am and what my purpose was meant to express into the world through me. I realized yet again that I needed to think even bigger! This process helped me get crystal clear on the fact that I'm even more than just an owner of the Team Gu consulting firm and helped me get closer to my higher self. My Disrupt Now ethos and way of coaching were born through a dream back in May/June of 2017, so it was just able to bring about a set of disruption moments that keeps building and building upon the previous disrUPtion. But, the truth is, it was only after I got a coach and after I got a therapist that I started to uncover some deep truths within me, so it took a lot of work to dig deep within my very being.

Going back to 2014 when I first started to analyze my own value list shown above and build my ultimate vision/desire list, I looked at my current situation back then with clarity for the first time. Once I saw my value list and the current situation write up I had completed, I just started to cry. I saw how incredibly far away I was from who I really am and what I value the most! At that time in 2014, I worked as a VP in an agency in New York City doing technology and marketing consulting and was working with an incredibly difficult team that was vying for investor eyeballs to go bigger. I was empowered with the task of building the business with accounts and building partners and to do so I was working 12-14 hour days every single day, drinking and going out with potential clients, and stressed beyond stressed. No matter how much yoga I did or how often I worked out, no matter how much I spoke with my partner whom I loved dearly about it, nothing worked to alleviate the stress. So I became angry and that anger produced itself physiologically in my body. I used to get bright red hives that covered my entire face and upper body and then would have anxiety attacks. Maybe not every day, but the fact that I had them at all was way too often. Now, I was getting huge paychecks so shouldn't I have been happy? That's the funny thing; money does not make you happy. In fact, I was quite the opposite of happy. I was a disaster; a totally miserable bitch. Here's how analyzing my current situation against my core life value list changed the game and helped me understand how to start building out my ultimate vision of my life through a desire and goal/tactics list:

  1. I realized and saw in my body that I was now happy at all with the people I worked with or how I had to work within their construct. And, if you see my value list above, cheerfulness is one value that is imperative to me living the life I desire. How could I be miserable and be cheerful? That's not possible so I realized that I needed to be around people and in an environment that made me feel like my true cheerful self and would allow for me to express my innate cheerfulness into the world.
  2. Consciousness? Moving from San Francisco to New York City, I was at the core a yogi, a runner, and an overall MINDFUL person. I got to the point in New York City where meditating to me was just calming myself down to ensure I don't get another bad case of the hives before walking through that office door. Not good.
  3. Empathy? I started to ignore my empathic abilities and question everything I was doing which made me feel like that insecure little girl in her 20's again and that was not OK either given I was in my mid-thirties and did not want to go back to that person I used to be.
  4. Leadership? This was a value I was living in the position as a VP, but I was not in charge of the way that I led the team and was in a constant fight against bullies in the workplace. This made me start to take a back seat to what I knew was right. I was told to lie to clients about projects, and I did and from that place, I started to crumble. That created a ripple effect as I was not being truthful nor authentic, which are other very clear values I must adhere to. 

See how this works? I could go on and on as my list was quite long. This is exactly why it's so essential to really look at your life NOW versus your inherent value list to understand what you have to change immediately. And, that will take a major disrUPtion moment and what my ethos of Disrupt Now really means at the very core.

So if you can get to work on that value list and write out the CURRENT SITUATION of your life so you can start to uncover what isn't working for you as it relates to your CORE VALUES, then you'll be headed in the right direction. You're going to make a lot of progress.

To write about your current situation, you must ask yourself some hard questions, like:

  • Does my life live in line with my core values? If something doesn’t align, why not?
  • Do I have a passion for my day to day work and does this work align with the values that are essential to me?
    • If not, what are some careers or paths I’ve dreamt of but soon forgot due to “obligations” or guilt, fear, or some kind of scarcity to get there?
  • Do I value myself fully that I allow these important values to be expressed through me?

Once you do this exercise (which will take time), you will see a very clear pattern that starts to emerge. It's essential to getting to the root causes of what is wrong now, in order to understand what patterns and things in your life that has to be changed.

Do you have lots of questions? Or, are you ready to do this formally? Go here to set up a consult with me:

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